Professor Wurzel's WURZELMANIA!

The Wurzels - Collaboration Singles

Over the years there have been a handful of occasions when one or more of The Wurzels collaborated with other celebrities on a recording. To date these have always been one-track singles.

Four recordings have been uncovered that were released with The Wurzels co-featured as the artists (Great Western Radio Bristol CDs 'Feed The Wurzels', 'Peter Crouch In Lederhosen' and 'Last Christmas'). A further recording was a charity vinyl single with contributions from several west country musicians including Tommy Banner and Mike Gwilliam from The Wurzels; this is not counted as an official Wurzels' release.

LYRICS!        Feed The Wurzels      Peter Crouch In Lederhosen      Last Christmas

Feed The Wurzels - The Wurzels vs. Bush & Troy

CD Released 15th December 2004

The local Bristol radio station GWR FM did their traditional Christmas parody song again in 2004. This time they embarked upon a remake of the 'Live Aid' song 'Feed The World' to raise money for local charities. It was made available by download from the Bristol GWR FM website, as well as being sold at various local record stores. The song was produced by GWR FM Morning Crew presenters Andy Bush and Paris Troy and featured vocals from local celebrities such as Richard Angwin (BBC weatherman), Cathy Barr, Tony Robinson and Fred Wedlock - and Wurzels Tommy Banner and Pete Budd.


For collectors this example is interesting as it was autographed by some of the participants the day after release day.

The Wurzels Archives


Peter Crouch In Lederhosen
The Wurzels v. Bush & Troy

CD: Released 17th June 2006

Local Bristolian radio station GWR FM Morning Crew presenters Andy Bush and Paris Troy jumped on the bandwagon to record a World Cup song to coincide with England's attempt to win the 2006 World Cup. All profits from the sale of the CD single and the accompanying internet download - featuring Bush & Troy, The Wurzels, Clifton Girl's Choir and the Colston Collegiate brass band - went to the charity 'Bristol Kidz'. 

The Wurzels Archives


Last Christmas - Bush & Troy featuring The Wurzels
CD: Released December 2008

GWR FM DJs Bush and Troy's 4th Christmas charity single - this time a parody of Wham's 'Last Christmas' which features Wurzels Pete Budd and Tommy Banner on vocals along with the radio show's 'Spidey Man', Bristol City's Lewis Carey and Bristol Rover's Stevie Phillips amongst others.

The Wurzels Archives



Crisis At Christmas     7" 45rpm Vinyl Single
Released December 1987

A collaboration record with many local west country musicians including Wurzels Tommy Banner & Mike Gwilliam. Released on a private record Jonathan Recordings, catalogue number J003, with the support of the Bristol Evening Post and the Western Daily Press. This release was not issued under the guise of a 'Wurzels' release.

The Wurzels Archives

Song Lyrics  

Feed The Wurzels

Andy, come and look outside, it's snowing
Wow.... it's beautiful, see how the snowflakes are dancing across the sky, it makes me feel so warm inside
Andy?
Yes Paris?
Do you think Santa will come this Christmas, on his sleigh?
Of course he will Paris, but only if you've been a good boy
Um, does he know what we think about, at bedtime?
I shouldn't think so, right, but Paris, Christmas isn't just about presents
No Andy, it's about Top Of The Pops, pudding, and Noel Edmonds
That's right, but not everyone will be lucky enough to have pudding this year

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
Pitstop Paulina!
And in our world of Avon, we can spread a smile of joy
George Painter!
Put your arms around Bristol at Christmas time
But say a prayer
Richard Angwin!
Of thanks to the West Country
Sometimes it's hard, to park, but when you're feeling down
The Wurzels!
There's a burnt out car in 'Artcliffe
There's a pimp down Portland Square
Tony Robinson!
We've got Gasheads, and the Robins
George from Asda's what we wear
From the lattes up in Clifton
To the Regulus engineer
Jack Nicholson!
Well tonight thank God Bristol, you're not alone
Waddya mean this is for charity, I want my bucks
And there'll still be tramps on Gloucester Road this Christmas time
Cathy Barry!
The greatest gift they'll get this year is chips
Oooh I like me chips I do
Fred Wedlock
Where no one ever goes (Stoke's Croft!)
Thugs drunks chavs and winos
The GWR Office!
Do they know it's Christmas time in Knowle?
Baldrick!
Bedminster, Cabot's Tower and Cotham Brow
Darth Vader, Withywood Yate Totterdown
Do they know it's Christmas time in Knowle?
Hey Cathy, you know those are the biggest Christmas baubles I've ever seen
Come on Jack, she's a lady!
Kiss my Christmas ass!
Oooh!
It's the wrong cheese Gromit, go for the big one!
You know this is the worst song I've ever heard
No but yeah but no but yeah but no

Feed The Wurzels
Bush and Troy are just a pile of
(Repeat five times)
Feed The Wurzels
Bush and Troy are just a pile of shhhhhhh
Cathy?
Yes boys?
Have you been a good girl this year?
Have I f***

Peter Crouch In Lederhosen

Hallo, Wayne Rooney
Awright Wayne?
Allo Becks
I seen on the telly you hurt your foot
Yeah
And they won't let you play football

Well a standing ovation for Wayne Rooney, it's not looking good, and he's stretchered off hands over his face,
and it could be quite a while before Wayne Rooney is, able to play again.

Good morning Mr German
Is there a pub near by?
Ich komme from Bristol, Bristol
Can I have a pork pie, pork pie
Kevin Keegan Bobby Charlton
And Gazza's magic feet
Geoff Hurst a Wembley hat-trick hero
Maradonna is a cheat cheat cheat cheat cheat cheat cheat cheat

(Chorus)
Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos 'is metatarsal's broken
There's Peter Crouch in lederhosen
Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos 'is metatarsal's broken
There's Peter Crouch in lederhosen

Well a lot of Portuguese fans behind that goal, where Beckham's taking this
Hold tight - oh he's put it miles over the bar!

Thierry Henry lives in Hartcliffe
Next door to Zinedine Zidane
Ronaldinho lives in Nempnett Thrubwell
Down the road from my Nan, my Nan
Stevie G and Fab Frankie
Bendy Beckham free kicks
Rooney's injured but we've got that Joe Cole
Eriksson should go for four five one with Michael Carrick in the holding role
(Repeat chorus)

Oh England are out of the European Championship on a penalty shoot-out.
So, so cruel

We always go out on penalties to the Argies or Germany
We may not have that Wayne Rooney we've got Rio and John Terry and Gary Neville
(Repeat chorus)

Crouch in space - oh what a goal! Peter Crouch on the terrace wraps it up
Ere Wayne, d'you steal my diamond hub caps?
Yeah
Can I have 'em back?
No

Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos 'is metatarsal's broken
There's Peter Crouch in lederhosen
(Clapping and cheering)
Aye that was brilliant, I gotta go, my fishfingers is ready.
Yeah
Bye!
Ta da Becks

Last Christmas

  • Paulina, are we honestly gonna listen to Christmas music on your rubbish old gramophone?
    Hey! It's the credit crunch, we can't afford a new one
    And are we really gonna eat Iceland beefburgers instead of a festive turkey?
    I know what'll get this party started, we need a Christmas song
    Yay!
    That's more like it, all we need now are some West Country heroes to help us out
    (Doorbell)
  • Look guys, it's The Wurzels!
    All right Bush and Troy?
    All right lads?
    We've 'eard you'm 'aving a party!
    OK guys, grab a drink and join the fun
    Right then Bristol, let's do it, altogether now!
  • Last Christmas, we had champagne and wine
    Now it's twenty scotch eggs for £3.99
    This year, The Wurzels are here
    So we might as well all drink cider
    Last Christmas, we had champagne and wine
    Now it's twenty scotch eggs for £3.99
    This year, The Wurzels are here
    So we might as well all drink cider
    (Doorbell)
  • It's Jack Nicholson!
    Hey losers! I thought this was supposed to be a party?
    Where are all the chicks with the little Santa bikinis on huh?
    Andy, I know what'll liven up this party, give me your lighter
    Oh Jack, what are you doing?
    This is a little trick I like to call - BUTT CRACK VOLCANO!
    Nooooo!
  • It's Christmas and we are all skint
    Everyone in Bristol thought that it would be so mint
    Tell me Jackie, do you have some money?
    No I had to sell my kidney to a family from Hungary
    (Doorbell)
  • Happy Christmas!
    George we knew you'd make it
    Wow is that a catsuit, boy it looks a tight fit
    Oh no, what a fool I've been
    I'm doing karaoke at the Queenshilling oh!
  • (Chorus)
    Last Christmas, we had champagne and wine
    Now it's twenty scotch eggs for £3.99 (£3.99)
    This year, The Wurzels are here
    So we might as well all drink cider (cider)
  • Da, da, da
    Da da da da da da da
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
  • Oy there lads, it's Spideyman 'ere!
    Spideyman!
    Cabot Circus, it looks proper nice
    But it's a nightmare, sticking to ruddy ice
    Catching criminals, I can't afford no webbing
    I got my suit from Primark and it's doin' my 'ead in
    Pitstop Paulina, she's a hundred and five
    She's a man undercover, and you should see her thighs
    It's Christmas, not Hallowe'en!
    Ooooooh but at least I'm not a fat Greek with a skinny sidekick
    (Repeat chorus twice)
  • Da, da, da
    Da da da da da da da
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
    Get a loada that'n then young 'un ah
  • Da, da, da
    Da da da da da da da
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
    Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr
    Get off my land!
    (Doorbell)
  • Hey guys, it's Bristol Rovers goalie Stevie Phillips and Bristol City captain Louis Kerry!
    All right lads?
    We're not too late to be on your song are we?
    Errrr... no......
    I 'ope not, cos I've sneaked out of a match at half time for this!
    Yeah, and I've cancelled line dancing
    Look, don't worry about it guys, it'll be fine.
    Right, you get ready, and after three, we'll all join in, yeah?
    OK lads, no worries!
    Ah Louie, this is gonna be mint, mate
    Ah, tell me about it, I'm brilliant at singing
    Three, two, one
  • Last Christmas, we had champagne and wine
    Now it's twenty scotch eggs for £3.99

    Lads, lads, lads? Where they gone? Lads? Lads?
    Come on Louie, let's go
    Off to the Queenshilling for a quick Christmas one


  • Lyrics Kindly transcribed by E.Bryant,
    Verified by Professor Wurzel
Song lyrics are property and copyright of their original owners and are here for educational or personal use only.
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