The Wurzels

"Give Me England" LP


This was the fourth album to be released by The Wurzels following Adge Cutler's death in 1974. It was released at the end of October 1977 as a 12" vinyl stereo LP on the EMI NOTES record label with catalogue number NTS138. The album was simultaneously released on cassette tape.

The Band Line-Up:

At the time of the recording of this album The Wurzels consisted of Tommy Banner (piano, organ, accordion, vocals), Tony Baylis (bass, bass guitar, sousaphone and vocals) and Pete Budd (banjo, guitar and vocals).

Track Listing:

  • Side 1
  • 1. Give Me England! (Original theme from the Columbia
        film "Confessions from a Holiday Camp" )  (Welch
        Barratt) 
    2. Willie Friese-Greene (Christie)
    3. Sally-Army Teacher (Taylor)
    4. Tremble On (Cook) 
    5. The Mixer Man's Lament (Cutler)
    6. Speedy Gonzales (Kaye-Hill-Lee)(New lyric by The
        Wurzels)
  • Side 2
  • 1. Farmer Jonesies' Travellin' Disco Show (Moody)  
    2. Sousaphone Sam (Bentley-Orchard-Shaw)
    3. The Jubilee Day (Banner-Baylis-Budd-de Sylva)
    4. Hey, Come With Me (Baylis) 
    5. Nellie The Bionic Cow (Baylis-Budd) 
    6. Haggis Farewell (Banner) 
    7. Farmer Bill's Cowman (I Was Kaiser Bill's
        Batman) (Greenaway-Cook-special lyrics by
        Banner-Baylis-Budd-Barratt)

The Tracks:

This album of studio recordings issued in late 1977 contains some interesting tracks including The Wurzels' last big hit single Farmer Bill's Cowman and Tommy Banner's autobiographical Haggis Farewell. The title track was the Original Theme from the Columbia film Confessions from a Holiday Camp. The film (which was part of a series of 'Confessions' films all starring Robin Askwith) was so poorly rated that the series was ended. The album had five tracks written by The Wurzels themselves and also an interesting remake of Adge Cutler's Mixer Man's Lament. 

Disc and Label Variations:

In common with all The Wurzels' EMI album releases from 1975 to 1980 this album remained 'on catalogue' for many years. Unlike the Adge Cutler / Wurzel albums from 1967 onwards The Wurzel albums have few variations in labels and sleeves. By 1975 all album sleeves were of the wrap-around type and most were laminated. Tax codes on vinyl records had been discarded and the vinyl weights - which were now generally the same on all records - were on the light side when compared to the high-quality heavy vinyl of the 1960s. Matrix, Mother and Stamper codes were still used on the vinyl and the information centred around Adge's 1960's recordings that can be found on the Main Menu under 'Vinyl Collecting Guides' remains relevant with minor changes between different record labels. The inner sleeves changed little over the period. Unlike the 1960s, which saw inner sleeves bearing advertising information, the 1970's to 80's were white company sleeves with minor variations. The 'Dating Record Sleeves' guide (in the Main Menu) indicates which inner sleeves would be expected to be found between 1974 and 1983 (types H,J,K, AND L).

Stereo pressing of NTS138 on the EMI Notes label.

A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R
B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O

(Nick W the EMI mastering engineer)

Album Sleeve Rear:

The album sleeve, of the wrap around style and fully laminated, had rather sparse information about the LP - the track listing and credits is only added to with information on the recording location and engineers:

Recording Engineers: David B. Charles (Rockfield), David Hamilton Smith (Olympic) and Dick Plant (The Music Centre)
Mastered at EMI's Abbey Road Studios. Producer: Bob Barrett

The band line up is not mentioned for some reason although the artwork shows the three members in cartoon form drawn by David Anstey.

Collectors' Extras:


An unusual collector's item - a factory sample of this album. Factory samples were taken from the production lines for a quality check

A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R
B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O


This example is particularly unique in that it came from the collection of Bob Barratt the record's producer.

Collectors' Extras:




An interesting collector's item - an autographed album sleeve, signed by Tommy Banner, Pete Budd and Tony Baylis.

A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICK W 1 R B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 2 O

Collectors' Extras:


This is a unique collector's item - a 12" double-sided white label record. This is a pre-production test-print of the album. The vinyl itself is the same as the one that went into production. The reverse of the disc also has a white label, again with no information on it.

A Side: Matrix NTS 138 A-1 NICKW 1 G
B Side: Matrix NTS 138 B-1 1 G

Give Me England - Song Lyrics

  • Side 1
  • 1. Give Me England! (Original theme from the Columbia
        film "Confessions from a Holiday Camp" )  (Welch
        Barratt) 
    2. Willie Friese-Greene (Christie)
    3. Sally-Army Teacher (Taylor)
    4. Tremble On (Cook) 
    5. The Mixer Man's Lament (Cutler)
    6. Speedy Gonzales (Kaye-Hill-Lee)(New lyric by The
        Wurzels)
  • Side 2
  • 1. Farmer Jonesies' Travellin' Disco Show (Moody)  
    2. Sousaphone Sam (Bentley-Orchard-Shaw)
    3. The Jubilee Day (Banner-Baylis-Budd-de Sylva)
    4. Hey, Come With Me (Baylis) 
    5. Nellie The Bionic Cow (Baylis-Budd) 
    6. Haggis Farewell (Banner) 
    7. Farmer Bill's Cowman (I Was Kaiser Bill's
        Batman) (Greenaway-Cook-special lyrics by
        Banner-Baylis-Budd-Barratt)

Side 1

Side 1, Track 1 - Give Me England

Last year we took the chance and went to Paree France
But all they can-canning girls led us quite a dance
They Folies Bergeres aint all they seem to be
Cos when a girls says oh no, she means ooh arr oui oui

(Chorus)
So, give me England every time my dear
Give me England any time of year
Come on everybody raise a cheer, far and near
For the birds and the booze now that Summer's here

And when the zouk is played, a Grecian serenade
We shed a tear in our beer for the price we paid
This aint no place to be complained old Timmy Lee
Aint got no bingo, the lingo's all Greek to me

(Repeat Chorus)

I'll never go again across to sunny Spain
To serenade a senorita 'neath her windowpane
What a palaver, on the Costa Brava
I didn't know the matador was her Father

(Repeat Chorus)

In nineteen-seventy we went to Italy
To sample all the delights down in Napoli. Ha ha ha ha
The senorinas there could not be keener there
But I've a scar from her Pa to prove I been to there

So, give me England every time my dear
Give me England any time of year
Come on everybody raise a cheer [Shout] hooray, far and near
For the birds and the booze now that, Summer's here

So, give me England every time my dear
Give me England any time of year
Come on everybody raise a cheer [Shout] hooray, far and near
For the birds and the booze now that, Summer's here



Side 1, Track 2 - Willie Friese-Greene

Years ago when magic lanterns were the latest craze
A young photographer was trying hard to prove
That pictures on the wall was just the start
One of these days he said, “I'll find a way to make these blighters move”
And after years and years of working halfway through the night
He fetched a copper off the street at half past ten
Saying come and see what I've just done, he then put out the light
And the movie show was born right there and then

Three cheers for Willie, three cheers for Willie Friese-Greene
Three cheers for Willie, the inventor of the silver screen
For without old Willie's ‘andles and his sprockets and his cogs
There'd be none of they blue films of they birds without their tops
There'd be no blinking cinemas and lots of synagogues
If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene

Hooray for Willie! Hooray for Willie Friese-Greene
Hooray for Willie, cos if Willie hadn't been so blinking keen
Old Errol Flynn'd never made enough to buy his yacht
And all they little starlets will be wondering if or not
If they'd ever get the chance to find out what a lot he'd got
If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene

Thank God for Willie, thank God for Willie Friese-Greene
Thank God for Willie, without him such a lot'd never been
Oh Jimmy Stewart would have stammered his speech
And big John Wayne wouldn't have had his time on the beach
Cor blimey Cary Grant would still be Archie Leach
If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene

Right throughout the ages blokes who have invented flair
Have tried to flog their gadgets far and wide
But nothing that's been thought of can in any way compare
With the little cine cameras you can buy

Three cheers for Willie, three cheers for Willie Friese-Greene
For without Willie, the office Christmas party wouldn't have been seen
No close up of the manager, wishing he was dead
The junior trying to get the new blonde typist into bed
The Sales Director with the postgirl's knickers on his head
If it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene
There'd be no back row, if it hadn't have been for Willie Friese-Greene



Side 1, Track 3 - Sally-Army Teacher

Fresh young girl with a lily-white skin
Standing there at the door she invited me in
Saturday night at the Sally Army dance
Nothing else to do, thought I might take a chance
She turned away and I took another glance
And I thought it would be a sin to miss it

(Chorus)
And it's all right, Sally lady 
Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally lady teach me, tonight

Tell me, what can I do?
She taught me more than I ever knew
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally lady teach me, tonight

Sunday morning she's back on parade
Singing songs of praise with her family brigade
Takes the hand of each child who wants to come
Let's them play on her big bass drum
Thinking over the things she has done
And she knows she’s lost her way, ole

(Repeat Chorus)

Tell me, what can I do?
She taught me more than I ever knew
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally Army teacher preach me wrong from right
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally lady teach me, tonight, right
Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally lady teach me, tonight, bright
Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright
And it's all right, Sally lady
Sally lady teach me, tonight, right
Sally lady, Sally Army teacher with your eyes so bright
[Fade out]



Side 1, Track 4 - Tremble On

I've made a lot of singles, and I've sung a bunch of jingles from my heart
I knew nothing much was happening, so I figured out I'd make a brand-new start
Cos maybe Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton had no choice
But if you want a country record friend, it helps to have a tremble in your voice

All right I'm trembling, my agent thinks success is guaranteed
If he can tremble, a man is sure of everything he needs
I got one manager, two publishers, three children and a wife who worships Hank
Ain’t that enough to keep me trembling, so I tremble all the way to the bank

(Chorus)
Tremble on, tremble on
Tremble high, tremble low
All the world loves a song
Sung by a trembling tremolo

I changed my name to money, cos it seems to me as countrified as cash
I've hit the weed, I've swallowed speed, I've started drinking any kind of trash
All right I'm looking older, but I think no southern soldier has a choice
And now I find that I'm developing a natural vibrato in my voice

That's why I'm trembling, my agent thinks success is guaranteed
If he can tremble, a man is sure of everything he needs
I got one manager, two publishers, three children and a wife who worships Hank
Ain’t that enough to keep me trembling, so I tremble all the way to the bank

(Repeat Chorus)

[Instrumental]



Side 1, Track 5 - The Mixer Man's Lament

Now I was on the chippings boys, Paddy on the sand
Gribble on the mixer, we made a happy band
And we'd swing our shiny shovels boys, swing them to and fro
Work all night with all our might, to make the mixer go

(Chorus)
Shovel of cement, shovel of sand, let the water flow
Shovel and sling the chippings in, to make the mixer go

Our Ganger's name was old Les Stroud, when that fella's dead
We'll bury him in ferrocrete with a toolbox at his head
Cement bag for a pillow, down in the earth so brown
Twenty brawny navvies to hold the blighter down

(Repeat Chorus)

We got the concrete pouring boys, right before our eyes
Till it seem that chimley stack, it soon block out the skies
But when Thursday comes around, boys what did we get
Only five bob bonus for a bucket full of sweat

(Repeat Chorus)

Come on lads young Paddy said, the job is down the pan
Throw your shovels in the air and jack up like a man
So, we threw our shovels in the air, jacked up with a cheer
Spent nigh all our last week’s wage on a belly full of beer

(Repeat Chorus)

The moral of this story boys, must be understood
Don't go near a mixer where the bonus is no good
For heaven they say is very nice, with angels at each hand
Hell is full of Paddy gangers, mixed with stone and sand

(Repeat Chorus x 2)



Side 1, Track 6 - Speedy Gonzales

[Spoken] It were a moonlit night in old Keynsham, and as I strolled along by the banks of the old River Chew, suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young Somerset girl

La la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, 
La la la la la la la laaaa, la la la la la la la laaaa

Thee's better come home Speedy Gonzales
The farm is getting overgrown
You know we need thee on the combine
Cos we can't drive'n on our own
Come on home to the farmhouse
And slap some paint on the wall
The roof is leaking like a strainer
We need some lino in the hall

Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales)
Why don't 'ee come home (Speedy Gonzales)
Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales)
Oh don't please leave I all alone

[Spoken] Rosie, gotta go down to the pigsty and get some perfume for Mother

Laaaa, La la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, 
La la la la la la la laaaa

You know your horse has got the measles
And we'em running out of scrump
The pigs have had another litter
We got no water in the pump
The hens have given up a-laying
They sheep ain’t growing any wool
The larder's looking very empty
And the dung heap's very full, hm

Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales)
Why don't 'ee come home (Speedy Gonzales)
Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales)
Oh don't please leave I all alone

[Spoken] Hey Rosie Come quick, down the pub they're giving green stamps with scrumpy

Laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa, La la la la la la la laaaa,
La la la la la la la laaaa. (Repeat x 1)

Arriva arriva arriva

[Spoken] Enrico come back






Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.Bryant,
Verified by Professor Wurzel


Side 2

Side 2, Track 1 - Farmer Jonesies' Travellin' Disco Show

When the milking's over for the day-old Farmer Jones do sing
For he be all intent to make the zider country swing
His gaiters hat and smock may be discarded don't 'ee see
Tonight's the night the disco booked for where the action be

(Chorus)
We can plough we can sow, we can reap we can mow
But there's someone extra special where the cider apples grow
For the greatest sound around the West and folks I'll 'ave 'ee know
Is the one and only Farmer Jonesies’ travellin' disco show

All dressed up to kill with kinky velvet trousers frills an' all
Jonesie be the prettiest sight to grace the Farmer's Ball
Them flashing lights are all a-go, a cider-delic trance
But even poor old Rover can't resist the urge to dance

(Repeat Chorus)

On and on all through the night with not a pause to get yer breath
T'was just as if the aims in hand to dance themselves to death
Old dowagers and duchesses all swayed with practised ease
But Millicent the milkmaid she's the biggest sort of tease

(Repeat Chorus)

When at last the dawn do break old Jonesy packs away his gear
And bids farewell as little Nell complains of feeling queer
So once again it's milking time and time for mucking out
But Jonesy's got the dairy wired to give 'em twist and shout

(Repeat Chorus x 2)




Side 2, Track 2 - Sousaphone Sam

(Chorus)
He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam
And he wants to be one of the band
He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam
And he wants to be one of the band

He's only satisfied, when he's got something to play
And you must realise, it's happening to him today
He'll make the sacrifice, do anything that you say
If you will let him play in the band

(Repeat Chorus)

His one ambition always was to play, Trafalgar Square
And by tradition now on Christmas Day, he'll be there
After all this time, now the pleasure's mine
To say that Sam can sign, on as one of the, on as one of the band

[Instrumental]

He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam
And we're glad that he's one of the band
He's Sousaphone Sam, yes he's Sousaphone Sam
And we're glad that he's one of the band
Play it again Sam



Side 2, Track 3 - The Jubilee Day

(Chorus)
We're off to the Jubilee Day, with Somerset pride we're on our way
You can come along too but don't be late
Cos we're off, we're off, we're off to the Jubilee Day

We held a general meeting, in the back room of the pub
The grocer's missis Mabel said she'd see to all the grub
Old Ivor brought his thermos flask and Doris brought some spoons
And Ernie said he'd bring his uke and give us all a tune

(Repeat Chorus)

We haven't got a coach so on a tractor we will ride
We'll give them all a wash down and put banners on the side
We've cleaned the combine harvester and painted it like new
The seat is red, the blades are white and the mudguard’s royal blue

(Repeat Chorus)

As we drive past Windsor Castle, if the flag is flying free
We'll stop the combine harvester and drop in for some tea
She's sure to have some crumpets, and lots of strawberry jam
Cockles winkles whelks and eels and caviar with ham

(Repeat Chorus)

We've heard she's coming down, to Somerset's fair land
So we're doing up our local pub, it's really looking grand
We'll give her scrumpy from the vat and Cheddar cheese galore
And the royal doggy bowl we'll put for the corgies by the door

(Repeat Chorus)

We're off! We're off! We're off to the Jubilee Day



Side 2, Track 4 - Hey, Come with Me

Hey, come with me
Take a trip, to the Westcountry
Where the sun is always shining
In blue skies, up above
Where the skylark flies
And the Summer breezes blow
Across the moors, around the coast
Along the shores, as fishermen
Set out to sea, they keep on singing

Hey, come along
Meet the folks, for an old folk song
Singing in harmony around the bar
Strumming chords to an old guitar
As the evening lamplight glows
They pass cigars, the landlord fills
The cider jars, while there's a log
Still on the fire, we'll keep on singing

Hey, don't wear a frown
Get in your car, and leave the town
Lying far behind you make for the West
Cos that's the place that we love the best
Where the folks are oh so friendly
You'll never leave, you'll feel the magic
These kind folks weave, and as you spend
These pleasant days, you'll keep on singing

Hey, come with me
Take a trip, to the Westcountry
Where the sun is always shining
[Fade out]



Side 2, Track 5 - Nellie The Bionic Cow

(Chorus)
Homogenised and pasteurised, in bottles and cans of any size
She's sure to give you a good surprise, she's Nellie the bionic cow

A man came from the Ministry, down to our Somerset farm
He said back up in London, we hear with some alarm
That you've got a super cow whose milk's already tinned
According to the dairy rules we think you may have sinned
The Ministry of Ag and Fish has sent me down to see
If this milk is drinkable for civil servants tea
So Missis put the kettle on and make me up a brew
And then we'll see exactly what your super cow can do

(Repeat Chorus)

We served him up a pot of tea, and a jug of Nellie's best
He sipped it very carefully and said she's passed the test
So load her in a trailer and I'll be off double quick
To take her to the scientists to see what makes her tick
Though we're only simple folk, not very bright may say
Nellie she's our pride and joy, we'll make it stay that way
So if you fancy talking blokes from London show your hand
I'll take me twelve bore off the wall and blast you off me land

(Repeat Chorus)

He didn't like me attitude, he said I should see reason
And if I didn't give her up they'd have me up for treason
The wife was weeping buckets, and I was feeling low
So we went out in the farmyard to watch our Nellie go
I'm not the sort of fella, who deals in strong arm stuff
But unbeknown to all of us our Nell had had enough
As he was hitching up the cart she caught him bending down
And hit him square between the cheeks right back to London town

(Repeat Chorus)

Homogenised and pasteurised, in bottles and cans of any size
She's sure to give you a good surprise, she's supersonic
They say that she's chronic, she's Nellie the bionic cow



Side 2, Track 6 - Haggis Farewell

T'was on a murky rainy day in November sixty-seven
When I came doon to Somerset to find my seventh heaven
I'd never been down in the West, was much to my surprise
At what I saw in Portishead that night before my eyes
There was held a competition, the strangest ever seen
Contestants drank a potion, a cloudy shade of green
At last we had a winner, we all gave him a hand
Not cos he had supped the most, but just cos he could stand

[Spoken] Mind you, they had to hold'n up, drank nigh on thirty-four pints of Sam Spriggs scrumpy, ha ha

(Chorus)
I left my haggis, left my oats
Came down to horses sheep and goats
With a bottle of Scotch and two pound notes
Now it's cider every morning

I came to join a pop group, accordion in my hand
I soon found out that the clothes they wore were smelling all the land
Now in those days the groups wore suits and they were dressed to kill
But my new mates wore corduroy clothes and wellies covered in swill
We went on stage for 'bout an hour, for me it was a thrill
We sang of Shepton Mallet and the ferry down in Pill
And when at last we left the stage lit up by old gas lamps
The crowd went all berserk for us lads dressed up like tramps

[Spoken] Wha's mean? They clothes be near brand new, cost nearly a quid last year at the church fete

(Repeat Chorus)

I tried to speak the local tongue, at first it was a farce
Cos everyone throughout this land knows a Scotsman rolls his 'r's
T'is almost ten years from the day I think I got the gist
Now when I meets a local lass I greet her with 'ow bist?
I began to drink the scrumpy, and to eat the Cheddar cheese
I've even been known to leave the pub upon my hands and knees
Now I'm as much a local, as Roly Ron or Bert
And now instead of saying great I've started saying gurt

[Spoken] I don't know, I can't understand a word 'ee do say, sounds like one of they foreign blokes to I

(Repeat Chorus)

With a bottle of Scotch and two pound notes
Now it's cider every morning


Side 2, Track 7 - Farmer Bill's Cowman

[Spoken] It's an hard life when youm working on the farm

Down on the farm, I don't need no alarm
I rise from me bed at five thirty
Around six o'clock, I puts on me smock
I'm feeling like Burlington Bertie
Out in the pen, there's a broody old hen
She gets as wild as a tiger
You try and touch her egg, and she'll bite off your leg
I feeds her on faggots and cider

(Chorus)
La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah
They call me Farmer Bill's Cowman
La la la la, ooh arr ooh arr ah
I'm proud to be Farmer Bill's Cowman

[Spoken] She were a proper little Rhode Island Red, she were

I work very ‘ard, out in the yard
Squelching around in the muck sir
I drink every night, plays tricks with me sight
I can't tell a drake from a duck sir
I felt such a fool, tried milking the bull
He must have enjoyed it somehow man
Now every day at three, he comes and says “I'm free”
That's why I'm farmer Bill's Cowman

[Shout} Altogether

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] I think 'ee got 'is eye on I

Day after day, I labour away
As work in the cowshed keeps piling
With shovel and stick, I lays it on thick
In spite of the sight I keep smiling
It were love at first sight, I loved her all right
But she were engaged to the ploughman
Now I'm her debonair, Somerset millionaire
I'm only Farmer Bill's Cowman. Ha ha ha ha ha

(Repeat Chorus x 4)

[Fade out]