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The Wurzels

"I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here" LP


This was the fifth album to be released by The Wurzels following Adge Cutler's death in 1974. It was released in November 1978 as a 12" vinyl stereo LP on the EMI NOTES record label with catalogue number NTS160. The album was simultaneously released on cassette tape.

The Band Line-Up:

At the time of the recording of this album The Wurzels were Tommy Banner (piano, organ, accordion, vocals), Tony Baylis (bass, bass guitar, sousaphone and vocals) and Pete Budd (banjo, guitar and vocals). Additional musicians for this recording were Rod Owen & Ed Welch (keyboards), Dougie White (drums).

Track Listing:

  • Side 1
  • 1. Funky Farmyard (Tony Baylis)
    2. The Tractor Song (Idra Jones & Evan    Jones)
    3. Down Our Street (Sammy King)
    4. I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here (Ed Welch)
    5. Mevagissey (Pete Budd)
    6. Somerset Jigolo (Tommy Banner)
  • Side 2
  • 1. Our Village Band (Tony Baylis)
    2. Two Milk Churns (David McDonagh)
    3. Ferry To Glastonbury (Adge Cutler-Colin Thomas)
    4. I Got Me Beady Little Eye On Thee (Pete
       Budd-Rod Owen) 
    5. Wish I'd Stayed A Bachelor (Tommy Banner) 
    6. Drunk on A Saturday Night (Pam Warner- Chic
        Warner) 

The Tracks:

I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here was The Wurzels' fifth and last true album for EMI - after this only compilations were issued. The 'live' sequences were recorded at Ashton Court Country Club near Bristol on the evenings of September 1st and 2nd 1978 in front of an invited audience consisting of members of the Wurzels' Fan Club. The 'live' tracks on the album were interspersed with studio recordings recorded at EMI Abbey Road in sessions that started on January 16th 1978.
The album includes songs by each of the individual band members - notably Pete Budd's hymn of praise to Mevagissey - as well as a couple of typical Wurzel numbers - Funky Farmyard and the parody The Tractor Song. It also featured Tommy Banner's instrumental tour de force Somerset Jigolo which remained a popular part of the band's repertoire for many years. Side 2 track 6 is a different recording (and a subtly different title) to the later single version. 

Disc and Label Variations:

In common with all The Wurzels' EMI album releases from 1975 to 1980 this album remained 'on catalogue' for many years. Unlike the Adge Cutler / Wurzel albums from 1967 onwards The Wurzel albums have few variations in labels and sleeves. By 1975 all album sleeves were of the wrap-around type and most were laminated. Tax codes on vinyl records had been discarded and the vinyl weights - which were now generally the same on all records - were on the light side when compared to the high-quality heavy vinyl of the 1960s. Matrix, Mother and Stamper codes were still used on the vinyl and the information centred around Adge's 1960's recordings that can be found on the Main Menu under 'Vinyl Collecting Guides' remains relevant with minor changes between different record labels. The inner sleeves changed little over the period. Unlike the 1960s, which saw inner sleeves bearing advertising information, the 1970's to 80's were white company sleeves with minor variations. The 'Dating Record Sleeves' guide (in the Main Menu) indicates which inner sleeves would be expected to be found between 1974 and 1983 (types H,J,K, AND L).

The Wurzels Archives

Stereo pressing of NTS160 on the EMI Notes label.

A Side: Matrix NTS 160 A-2 HTM 1 G

B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 HTM 2 H

(HTM - Harry Moss, EMI's most respected mastering engineer)

Album Sleeve Rear:

The album sleeve, which was of the wrap around style and laminated, As well as a detailed tracklisting and album credits there is an interesting description of the 'live' recording session that led to this album.

The Wurzels Archives
The Wurzels Archives

Collectors' Extras:


A nice collector's item - a copy autographed by all three band members - Tommy Banner, Pete Budd and Tony Baylis.

A Side: Matrix NTS160 A-1 HTM 1 G

B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 1 H

The Wurzels Archives

Collectors' Extras:




An unusual collector's item - an EMI Demonstration copy of this album. Note the gold stamp at bottom left of the image.


A Side: Matrix NTS160 A-1 HTM 1 G

B Side: Matrix NTS160 B-1 1 H



This example is particularly unique in that it came from the collection of Bob Barratt the record's producer.

I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here - Song Lyrics

  • Side 1
  • 1. Funky Farmyard (Tony Baylis)
    2. The Tractor Song (Idra Jones & Evan    Jones)
    3. Down Our Street (Sammy King)
    4. I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here (Ed Welch)
    5. Mevagissey (Pete Budd)
    6. Somerset Jigolo (Tommy Banner)
  • Side 2
  • 1. Our Village Band (Tony Baylis)
    2. Two Milk Churns (David McDonagh)
    3. Ferry To Glastonbury (Adge Cutler-Colin Thomas)
    4. I Got Me Beady Little Eye On Thee (Pete
       Budd-Rod Owen) 
    5. Wish I'd Stayed A Bachelor (Tommy Banner) 
    6. Drunk on A Saturday Night (Pam Warner- Chic
        Warner) 

Side 1

Side 1, Track 1 - Funky Farmyard

[Spoken] Right lads are you ready? After four
One, two, three
Here's a little song all about the rocking rhubarb
It's called the Funky Farmyard, ha ha

(Chorus)
Every night by the pale moonlight
The farmyard's full of soul
All they pigs and chickens
Like to do the rock and roll
And they go ooh, arr, ooh arr ay
Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr ay
Everybody's having fun, down by the chicken run
And they go ooh, arr, ooh arr ay
Ooh arr ooh arr ooh arr ay
Everybody's having fun, down by the chicken run

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the dish ran away with the spoon
Three blind mice, dressed up nice
Danced with the Farmer's wife
Popping and a-hopping all night without stopping
Having the time of their lives

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Come on Father
Work some steam onto it my babby
Ha ha ha
Hey, my handsome
Come on there my babby

(Repeat Chorus)

That's what thee's call rock and roll you



Side 1, Track 2 - The Tractor Song

Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr
Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr

Riding along on my tractor honey, when I notice you
Riding yer bike in a hurry honey, down the avenue
You looked so pretty, as you were riding along
You looked so pretty, as you were singing this song

Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr
Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr

Well I put on the speed and I tried catching up
You were going harder too
Pedalling along like a hurricane honey
Spinning out of view
You looked so pretty, as you were riding along
You looked so pretty, as you were singing this song
Sing this song

(Chorus)
Round round wheels going round round round
Down up pistons, down up down
Gotta get across to the Rose and Crown
Before the sun goes down
Hey hey hey

Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr
[Spoken over] Hello my little flower, tha's goin' my way? Ha ha ha ha
Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr

Now we're driving along on my tractor honey
A tractor built for two
Sitting up here in the seat beside me
Now we got a better view
You looked so pretty, as we were riding along
You looked so pretty, you keep singing this song
Sing this song

(Repeat Chorus)

Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr
[Spoken over] 'Ere Mabel, you wanna see I drive with one hand? Ha ha ha
Oooh oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh. Arr



Side 1, Track 3 - Down Our Street

It's so clear to me, how it used to be
Down the little cobbled street where I was born
Tiny houses, snug and warm, lots and lots of chimney pots
Smoked away from dusk to dawn
Just across the way, where I used to play
You could hear the constant bouncing of a ball
Where Terry chalked on Riley's wall
Then he cried when Mr Riley came outside and took his chalk
Whenever I walk

Down the street where I was born my mind is filled with tender memories
Of the people and the good times that we knew
As a little boy I'd run towards the sweet shop on the corner
Clutching three pence for a lollipop or two
And when it rained, the rooves would shine
And I'd pretend twas liquorice to eat
What with such imagination, there was so much fascination
Down our street

But old Grandma Lees (Old Grandma Lees)
With her troubled knees (Her troubled knees)
Used to smile and say the sweets would make me fat
She would often stop and chat, while Thomas Jones was throwing stones
At Mrs Smith's beloved cat, mm mm
In the evening glow (In the evening glow)
Me and George would go (George would go)
Stand beneath the window of the Junction Inn
Just to hear Aunt Alice sing, and sniff the beery air that 
Floated out the windows from within
But everything

Down the street where I was born was never built to last forever
But the memory of it all will linger on
Now the smoky stone has crumbled, and the chimney pots have tumbled
And the poky little alleyways are gone
The hopes and fears, the laughs and tears
And everything that made a life complete
Still echo round the corner, in the alleyways and squares
Whisper in the eaves to me, when I walk down what used to be
Our Street

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la la la
[Fade out]



Side 1, Track 4 - I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here

Now old Jolly Jack was a hard-working chap
And he longed for a chance to be free
Stuck a pin in the map as it laid on his lap
And he stuck it into gay Paree
It were quite by chance that he'd heard of France
Cos he'd never been away before
He was straight off the boat with his ten-bob note
When his heart fell through the floor

(Chorus)
Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time my dear
Cos you never get surprises
Living in Devizes
However hard I bloomin’ try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll lie

When I die, hi, hi, hi, hi

Well he made his way in complete dismay
Where the lights were shining bright
And standing there was a girl so fair
And she asked him for a light
Put his hand in his pocket and it felt like a rocket
It was growing in his hand like a flame
So, he pulled it out, and she gave a shout
Et vous chicken? No, I'm game

(Repeat Chorus)

When I die, hi, hi

(Repeat Chorus)

When I die, hi, hi

(Repeat Chorus)

[Fade out]



Side 1, Track 5 - Mevagissey

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

The lights of, Mevagissey, is the sight I long to see
To walk the old stone harbour, smell the salt air, and the sea
Those fishing boats, are safely moored, the seagulls soar above
In that quaint old Cornish village, Mevagissey you're my love

(Chorus)
Some folks like big cities, with their hustle, and bright lights
The nightclubs, and the restaurants, they say are, wondrous sights
Although I'm not, a Cornish lad, though I live down, in the West
You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey you're the best

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm 

The motorways, and the factories, their chimneys reach the sky
People rushing, everywhere, never knowing why
So, I'm glad I've had, this chance in life, to take the time and see
You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey, you're for me

So, if you yearn, to leave it all, and I'm sure you might some day
Remember what I tell you, as you pass along your way
And you'll be glad, that you're alive, these words I say are true
Forget those bright light cities, Mevagissey's just for you

(Repeat Chorus)

You can keep your bright light cities, Mevagissey you're the best



Side 1, Track 6 - Somerset Jigalo
[Instrumental]


Side 2

Side 2, Track 1 - Our Village Band

Every Sunday folks arrive from miles around
And cram into the back room of The Crown
There's always room to stand, pint of beer at hand
And listen to the most exciting sound

(Chorus)
Shouting, singing, everybody's swinging
When they hear our village band
Playing, romping, you should hear 'em stomping
Ours is the best band in the land

In the band you'll find the most unusual crowd
Gathered there from every walk of life
The grocer plays the spoons, the postman tries and croons
With back-up vocals by the vicar's wife! (La de da de de)
The baker loves to play a gurt big roll on the drum
He says it is symbolic of his trade
The butcher makes his point, by trying to smash the joint
Through marching up and down like on parade

(Repeat Chorus)

Lady from the library plays the clarinet
She tells us that she's always loved to reed
The milkmaid's played the horn, since the day that she was born
The vet on organ likes to take the lead
The vicar plays the trumpet just like Gabriel
The ice-cream man he plays the cornet too
They're not inclined to quibble, who plays the old bass fiddle
As long as he can really swing the blues

(Repeat Chorus)

Last Summertime we entered for the Albert Hall
Along with all those very famous bands
Our publican on flute, was plastered as a newt
And disappointed all our many fans
Even though the blacksmith tried to save the day
And tear the flute right out his drunken grip
He completed his disgrace, by falling on his face
And then got up and did a total strip

(Repeat Chorus)

[Shout] Everybody

(Repeat Chorus)



Side 2, Track 2 - Two Milk Churns

(Chorus)
Oh, she is the queen of the rustic range
Smell of manure and a dose of the mange
With a pot or a pint, pitchfork in her hand
She's the darling daughter of the land

[Spoken] Ah she's a fine agricultural little girl, got muscles behind her kneecaps

Now Nellie Malone is a milking maid
She's a head like a turnip and a neck like a spade
Her figure's grim, you soon will find
Two large milk churns and an acre behind. Ha ha ha aww

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Got lovely red hair all down her back, pity she aint got none on her head

Now each time she bends at the milking stool
T'is just like the rising of the moon
If Nellie and the cow are standing by a ditch
It's hard to decide now which is which

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Went for a ride on a camel the hump ended up underneath her

Now she lets her hair hang long and loose
And she pinks up her face with beetroot juice
Now the value of her acres is hard to gauge
Her two milk churns is all the rage

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] When she takes a shower, takes the water an hour to reach her feet

Now she tends to her cows in the morning light
And she tends to the fellas most every night
In the middle of lunchtime every day
It's a kiss and a cuddle and then youm ok

(Repeat Chorus)

[Spoken] Hey Nellie, with legs like that youm fully equipped to kick-start the combine harvester



Side 2, Track 3 - Ferry To Glastonbury

(Chorus)
There aint no ferry to Glastonbury
That don't bother me
Though I'm tired and weary there's a little dearie
Waiting there for me

Working all day in the meadow
Started with the morning dew
The day's been hot, and my old dog Spot
He's feeling weary too

(Repeat Chorus)

Bees in the hedgerow are buzzing
All of the world is in bloom
Sleepy cows just sit and drowse
Taking in the day's perfume

[Instrumental]

Golden haze on the river
Dust and heat all the way
And I can but think, of that long cool drink
Before I hit the hay

(Repeat Chorus)

Afternoon shadows grow longer
Trees shade the evening sun
And I'm content, a day well spent
Another job well done

(Repeat Chorus)

There aint no ferry to Glastonbury
That don't bother me
That don't bother me



Side 2, Track 4 - I Got Me Beady Little Eye On Thee

I'm a wise little owl, and I lives in a tree
And there's nowt goes by, that I don't see
Cos, I got me beady little eye on thee

(Chorus)
I got, me beady little eye on thee
I'm up here in the branches of a tall oak tree
There's nothing passes by, that plainly I don't see
Cos, I got me beady little eye on thee

Now Ernie he's our milkman and he comes around at seven
He's a proper Casanova, thinks that he was sent from heaven
Those unsuspecting husbands when they're off to work can't see
Old Ernie's after more than just his morning cup of tea

[Spoken] Ho ho, 'ee aint 'alf as thick as 'is cream

(Repeat Chorus)

Now Mr Smith he caught the baker hiding in the loo
He said your wife's so very kind, I didn't know what to do
Just one more kindness could I ask, and the baker went quite red
Could you fetch my shoes and socks, I left them by your bed

[Spoken] I think he dropped a bit of a bloomer there

(Repeat Chorus)

Young Mrs Jones at number three sings with the chapel choir
She sings a deep contralto cos her voice won't go no higher
Last week the plumber made a call, as he was passing by
Now all the neighbours are amazed cos her voice it sounds so high

[Spoken] Ha ha, many a good tune's been played on an old ballcock

(Repeat Chorus)

I got me, I got me beady little eye on thee
I got, me beady little eye on thee

[Spoken] Confusion he said, if in doubt, keep yer socks on
Oh? Confusion! You mean Confucius
Who's 'ee then?



Side 2, Track 5 - Wish I Stayed A Bachelor

I met a lovely city lass, from a posh part she did come
T'is nigh on two years since we wed, should've listened to me Mum
Her problem is she cannot cook, and though she tries her best
Her ice-cream's hot, her hot-pot's cold, I'll tell you 'bout the rest

(Chorus)
I wish I'd stayed a bachelor, exactly like my Dad
When thinking of the stories, of the good time that he had
I guess she must have laced my beer, and the drink went to my head
Cos, I proposed and drank the toast and now we're wed

When I was half asleep one morn, I heard her sweet voice whisp
There's soft boiled eggs for breakfast but I hope you like ‘em crisp
I asked her why my eggs were always scrambled boiled or fried
She said I'm scared to poach them, in case I'm put inside

(Repeat Chorus)

She was gone for three whole days, out shopping if you please
Up North to get some Yorkshire puds, down Cheddar for some cheese
I'm only pleased I didn't want French beans or Brussels sprouts
She'd have gone and got a passport, of that there is no doubt

(Repeat Chorus)

I said let's have a late-night snack, and a cup of tea
She said I would've made you toast, but I've lost the recipe
Now if we lived in Canada, I'd never ask for mousse
She'd try and grab it by the horns, and bring it in the hoose

I wish I'd stayed a bachelor, exactly like my Dad
When thinking of the stories, of the good time that he had
I guess she must have laced my beer, and the drink went to my head
Sure enough, I've had enough, wish I were dead



Side 2, Track 6 - Drunk On A Saturday Night

Come on now let's have some fun, the evening's just begun
Saturday's the night that's right so come on into town
Now there's a bar where we all meet, to drink the night away
We'll keep on spending our money, till someone has to say, hey, hey, hey

(Chorus)
Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies
And you know she'll blame it on your dad, for spending all his wages
Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies
And you know she'll blame it on your Dad, for spending all his wages

The evening passes right away, we've had a real good time
Drinking wine and feeling good, we haven't got a dime
Cos in the bar where we all meet, to drink the night away
We'll keep on spending our money, till someone has to say, hey, hey, hey

(Repeat Chorus)

Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night when your Mother's at the movies
And you know she'll blame it on your Dad, for spending all his wages
Well you don't get drunk
Well you don't get drunk
Well you don't get drunk on a Saturday night



Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.Bryant,
Verified by Professor Wurzel

.

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